so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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