i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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