dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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