it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
