I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
