I faked an abortion last night.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
