Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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