I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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