Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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