There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
They have beer where we have blood.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
