I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
