Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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