You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
