I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
