Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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