I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
