i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize
