I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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