she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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