Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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