Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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