yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
