This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
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I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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