please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
