I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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