I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
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Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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