Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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