Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
