is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
