not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
