We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
