K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
