did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
