Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
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