Tell her she can't have a vagina
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
