I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
