it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
