the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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