Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
