I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
