Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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