I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
