I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
