I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
