If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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