Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
