wanna go halves on a baby?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize