bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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