oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
