Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
