I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
well you can't waste a boner
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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