around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
