You don't have asthma, your pregnant
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
