you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
