I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
