Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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