You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
