And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Randomize
