I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
