I skipped work to stalk him.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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