thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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