I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
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i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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