p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
She needs sedatives and a leash
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize