Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Randomize